It’s Not an Audition
Stroll into any arena across this country during a massive open-call audition and you will witness the exact same spectrum of singers. Ten percent will be very good – great even – and they know it. These singers have their voices and song choices raised to a professional level. For them, this is not an audition. They could build a career on their own but are hoping to bypass the hustles and hassles of marketing themselves with some TV exposure. They relish their role as top gun in their neighborhood bar and look to expand that to the national stage.
Another ten percent of those who show up at an open-call are goofballs. These exhibitionists thrive on busting cultural taboos and bask in the amazement of gawkers. They are the equivalent of the drunks at Karaoke bars who bark into the microphone as their entourage cheers and documents the event for FaceBook. For these clowns, this is not an audition – it’s center ring. In order to ensure that everyone knows they’re not serious they exaggerate their vocal inability beyond belief. The worst thing, in their minds, is to be mistaken as a member of the third type of singer at the circus.
The remaining 80 percent are comprised of sweaty-palmed, shallow breathing, hopefuls who have been in perpetual audition mode since the day they first sang. Some are quite good – great even – if it weren’t for that audible doubt in their voices and distress in their body language. Whether they’re in obvious audition situations or just singing in the car, there’s a constant question in their minds asking, “I’m I any good?” The beauty of these pressure cooker pageants of personalities is that they serve as a vivid metaphor for life itself. There are a few who grab the reins and guide life and others that relish hanging out at the back-end of the animal. Most of us, though, sit waiting for direction and wonder when we’ll be cast into the role of our lives.
To say life is not an audition is cliché but serves to remind us that the day we took our first breath we hit the stage. Ironically, what occurs on a theatrical stage or movie screen is merely a reflection of our lives – and music is the soundtrack. You don’t need permission to participate in this grand tradition of story telling, you simply need to be alive! That most people are unsure of who they are and what they have to offer is all the evidence a reluctant singer needs to sing anyway. Most of us have big dreams and most of us are not sure if we’re worthy of them. Singing anyway sends a message of hope to all those listening who have surrendered to their doubts. That people appreciate courage and honesty in a singer is easy to see. Every generation has a handful of low self-esteem musical anti-heroes.
Waiting for someone to approve your worth, as a singer or anything else, is a powerless proposition. The heartbreak of someone having their dream denied on national TV is a big part of the success of talent shows like American Idol, X Factor and The Voice. They blatantly reinforce our fear of rejection. Even though the judges soften the blow with encouraging words like, “You’re not right for this show,” or, “keep working on your skills and try again,” all we hear is “you are not worthy.” The producers know to edit each episode for maximum tears, with plenty of back-stories about how much it means for the contestants to be anointed a singer. Without this stress there’d be no ratings.
I’m not so idealistic to think there shouldn’t be winners and losers; I’m just realistic enough to know that television shouldn’t be viewed as a guiding light. With something as intimate and personal as singing, it deserves to be re-framed in your mind. If you don’t feel your voice is worthy of an audience then focus on the song. Do you agree with its message? Did it move you when you heard it? Why not focus on giving that experience to someone else? The desire to move someone with a song is all that’s needed to be worthy of a listen.
Even when you’re actually at an audition, it’s important to remember that your love of singing is not up for judgment. My two most memorable auditions were for a spot as background singer for a Billy Joel world tour and as lead singer of a classic rock band that I’m legally not allowed to name. The Billy Joel audition went about as badly as an audition can go. I had already attached my worth as a vocalist on getting the gig so when it didn’t happen I had a very hard time reconciling my passion. I sure didn’t feel like singing for a while. I did learn from that experience, though, and went to the second big audition with a very different attitude. I was relaxed and sang well. Even though I didn’t get that gig either I wasn’t bruised by the rejection because I didn’t attach the result to my integrity as a singer.
Don’t be fooled by that voice in your head blabbing on about perfection or being your worst critic for your own good. It’s all garbage stemming from a common cultural belief that real singers have a gift and the rest of us should just sit and listen. We all received a gift – it’s called life, and you’ve been cast in the leading role of yours. The script is waiting for your next word to be spoken and the storyline has yet to fully unfold. So don’t wait for applause or approval. Your show is not over yet. Instead, think of singing, no matter the circumstance, as just another performance in the story of your life.
